“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Cor 5:17
Cosmetics. It was my way of having control. Controlling how people see me. For me personally, being covered in it paralleled the spiritual in a way I never before realized. My view of self – the distorted reflection – paralleled the spiritual in my view of God. A distorted view that led to a life being more concerned with outward appearances than with inward spiritual growth and character development. It was like the truth vs a lie. I had more fear of being caught without the “power of makeup” than without God’s transforming power. For over 30 years, I was more concerned with being covered in cosmetics than being covered in the blood of Jesus.
This is a one-year progress report to give God glory for the amazing things He has done as “He works all things together for the good of those who love Him” and He “orders our steps”. (Rom 8:28, Psa 37:23) “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” (Rom 8:37) Maybe “I was blind, but now I see.” (John 9:25)
I asked the Lord for help on this to get an outside perspective regarding a before and after of His transforming powers in my life, and my husband of about 20 years offered his insight, as follows.
Before:
You were argumentative without repentance. Things had to be your way. You would talk in circles – things would cycle to the same points with no resolution. You were not giving your burdens to God.
After:
If there are arguments, you now have empathy and repentance. You seek resolution and God’s will on a matter. You seek prayer for God to enter in. Your trust and faith in God have increased.
Before:
You were double-minded and emotional about family-related and personal issues. You were not equipped to give spiritual advice, being easily moved by an attack (easily triggered in fights with family members).
After:
You are now steadfast and not easily triggered, practicing self-control when pressed by family members. And now are standing the gap, praying, and giving better advice, grounded by the Holy Spirit. You are now driven by love and wanting people to be set free.
Before:
You hid from the world in your comfort zone (mind, location, and people). You were more distant. You tried to be an island.
After:
You now connect with people and will go out of your comfort zone to reach people. You show the fruit of the Spirit, loving people more than comfort.
Before:
You were quick to get upset and saw much through the lens of negativity. This would work to shape your world, seeing the negative as truth or “glass half empty”.
After:
You now think more before getting upset, and see things more from the other person’s point of view. You see things more from the Holy Spirit’s view now as well. You have more joy and love.
Before:
Your prayers lacked power and anointing and seemed hindered without answers. You mostly sought God’s hands.
After:
Your prayers are powerful. There is more fruit and anointing. You are interceding, and God’s hand moves. You get direct answers to your prayers now instead of only through others. You are showing evidence of the Holy Spirit relationship. Now you seek God’s face more.
Before:
You had issues with Authority and would lash out.
After:
You now understand order and Authority, and take correction better, while seeking to improve.
Before:
You took my love, patience, and loyalty for granted. I believe you did the same regarding God as well.
After:
You return love with love. You now try doing things, showing care. And understand order (headship and covering).
Before:
My prayers and received visions for you were to prepare and warn you of problems, attacks, and wrong views. Things were rocky for us.
After:
My prayers and visions about you are more positive. And we agree a lot on spiritual and life matters. Visions are happening for the positive, and great things are happening in the day-to-day (with friends, family, and personal).
Before:
You would hide spiritual matters, such as words that you heard, and consider them without sharing. You knew that much of what you heard I would not agree with (in hearing the enemy’s words who pretended to be God). And it turned into division.
After:
You now have good friends to share with who are part of the Body of Christ, who have spiritual discernment (as an answer to our prayers). And you now have more discernment yourself on spiritual matters. You understand order – that I only try to help you be free, happy, and complete. You are more balanced.
The following are a few examples of my own where I can see the transforming power of God in my life.
Before:
I was very spiritually immature, being reactive to interactions and words received, regardless of the source – whether from my husband, those I perceived as from the Lord, or from the enemy. I would take offense and obsess till overreaction, driven emotionally by feelings or pressure; I would allow frustration and anger to take over, complaining excessively with a disrespectful attitude, blaming others and ultimately God, resenting Him.
After, through Christ:
I am a lot less reactive to words received. I don’t feel as shaken. I am starting to recognize more and more when thoughts are my own or are intrusive, seeded by the enemy. And I feel at peace within, being calmer and more even-keeled.
Before:
I placed my will over God’s and resisted surrender, even arguing over things I thought He was asking of me. I took God for granted and did not appreciate or cherish Him. I had the mentality of an orphaned spirit and did not see God as my Heavenly Father, viewing Him as distant and impersonal. I took advantage of His love and kindness, using grace as a license to sin. Though God was faithful to me, I was not to Him. While I had a warped view of God in fearing Him the wrong way with mistrust, I lacked the proper fear of the Lord, which is defined as a healthy respect and reverential awe. And as my husband was saying, much of this was mirrored in our relationship, in how I treated him.
After, through Christ:
I am seeking more after His will and to stay surrendered to His heart in love and seeking to delight in the Lord. Where I had relied on cosmetics to be my covering and confidence, my focus has shifted to reliance on God for all my needs. I am trying to be more consistent in building the relationship with God by including Him in all that I do and trying to listen more. He has shown me His kindness and is teaching me that I can trust His heart, that He is my Abba Father, that He is my inheritance.
Before:
While much of the following was before baptism, I wanted to share a glimpse of the old me: I was vain, shallow, and self-centered, not valuing others. I had a victim mentality, focusing on how others wronged me, yet lacked accountability in my own choices. I had issues with unforgiveness and lacked trust. I was a compulsive liar, sexually immoral and adulterous, and even unfaithful in my heart. Was calloused to sin and resistant to God’s warnings and drawings. I was disrespectful to God and others. I wasn’t a good friend and did not put the effort into trying. I was very judgmental of others and religious, yet a hypocrite. I felt the need to control my Christian destiny, fearing the unknown. I was high-anxiety, lacking the peace of the Lord. I was rude and lacked empathy and compassion. I was unthankful and did not have a heart of gratitude.
After, through Christ:
God has graciously forgiven me of much and is working on, in, and through me to prune and cleanse, bringing restoration according to His plans while showing His love for me. He has helped me to be honest with Him, my husband, and myself regarding these issues and has set me free from the power of sin and patterns of behavior I had been trapped in.
“We know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.” Rom 6:6
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Phil 4:13
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Eph 3:20-21
“Your adornment must not be merely external—with interweaving and elaborate knotting of the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or [being superficially preoccupied with] dressing in expensive clothes; but let it be [the inner beauty of] the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, [one that is calm and self-controlled, not overanxious, but serene and spiritually mature] which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:3-4 AMP
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