womancommitsadulterysaved

Part 2: Where Would I Be Without Jesus? Adultery.

I thought that I would take parts of my testimony and break it into segments showing some of the things that Jesus has saved me from. And show that not even in my most shameful moments did He ever let me go. I’ve spent most of my life being hard-headed and hard-hearted. And though it took a while for reality to sink in, it’s very sobering to think about where I would be if I did not have Jesus.

Spiritually speaking, whatever we obey is our master. Romans 6:16 says, “Do you not know to whom you are offering yourselves as servants under obedience? You are the servants of whomever you obey: whether of sin, unto death, or of obedience, unto righteousness.” It’s our choice. It was like that in the beginning, with Adam and Eve when they chose in their heart to trust satan. They believed him over our Creator God.

Belief, spiritually speaking, is an action word. And they walked it out to obey satan …basically handing over the keys to the kingdom as God had given man dominion over all the earth. Nothing has changed. Same ole lies being recycled. “Did God really say that? And did He really say there would be consequences? God is love.” Yes, but He’s also righteous. And to be truly righteous He has to be just. Having that attitude gets us to a position of sinning casually, without fear of consequence. One little sin to gratify the flesh is “harmless” right?

One tiny seed planted is all it takes. Even from just a bad thought that we dwell on, something we look at, or are exposed to. If not dealt with right away, we are potentially allowing it to take root in our hearts. And before you know it, it’s conquered us leading to separation from our Creator. We reap what we sow. Galatians 6:8 says, “Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit.”

I’d like to say that my low moral standards were solely due to how I grew up being trafficked. And yes, that served to greatly influence me, but as an adult, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I took the route of claiming victimhood forever. But we’re all accountable for our own decisions. Romans 2:14 tells us that God has written His law on our hearts, our conscience if you will. But we can choose to ignore convictions.

As a child and also in my teens I had read some of the Bible and was starting to grow a love for God. I wish I could say that I stuck with it, but by the time I was set free from captivity at age 18 1/2, despite my grandparent’s best efforts to have me baptized, I had already fallen away being hardened and with an unhealthy thought life that was already producing bad fruit. Without my staying in God’s Word and instead ignoring convictions, my life began to unravel. I was on the path to depravity.

It started seemingly innocent. Being lonely and wanting to feel like I existed, I looked for what was missing in my life. Before you know it, I started to enjoy the attention it got me. There was Someone there all along who would have filled the void if I had allowed Him to, Jesus. But I was too wrapped up in living life my way. My desires. My need for control. I couldn’t see how hollow I was becoming, how it left me a shell. That, and I did not know that we could develop a relationship with our Creator.

Sadly, one poor choice after another paved the road to complete moral failure and the trap of cyclic behavior from deeply rooted sin. Sin is hungry and always wants more. Pushing boundaries. Before I knew it, there was infidelity in my marriage. Then later someone who was married asked me out. You would think that I would decline, but nope. I wish I had carefully considered and run from that! But I was blinded by sin and corrupt thinking. I had become its slave. This pattern happened yet again, as I got myself into another situation with someone who was separated, but still legally married.

If we go back to Jesus’ teachings, He shows that the issue goes beyond surface-level rules and regulations. We say things like “Look but don’t touch”. But He showed that our intentions and thoughts are just as important as actions. Proverbs 4:23 comes to mind, where it says to guard our heart above all else, as everything we do flows from it. Jesus in Matthew 5:27-28 says, You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

In scripture, Paul emphasizes that sexual immorality stands apart from other sins because it’s a form of self-harm in that it creates a sinful bond with another person. When people come together there is a union formed between them not only physically but spiritually. 1 Cor 6:15-20, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Or don’t you know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.

After the second instance of adulterous behavior, God took new measures to get my attention by opening my spiritual eyes. Something came in my window. Literally. By this willful act of rebellion, I opened a spiritual door. Some type of entity came in through my window, gliding midair right past me as I watched petrified. All I saw was lots of long tentacles. About 6 feet in length. From that moment on, my life became more chaotic with drama and mental instability.

God had been more than patient with me for years through all my sinful living. By opening my spiritual eyes, He was trying to shake me. But as startled as I was, I still did not wake up. Which is crazy because none of it brought me any real satisfaction. Of course, now I know that there is only One who can complete us. Jesus. But sadly, I had no interest in spiritual matters. I continued living as the world to the point of wanting to end everything. Because that’s exactly where it will lead. To a dead-end street.

I’m just so thankful that Jesus never gave up. He should have cast me off. Looking back on my life I can see how He kept trying to draw me unto Himself, always waiting. And I can only imagine how many times He had saved my life in all my recklessness just trying to keep me out of hell till I woke up. Don’t do what I did. Waiting decades to invite Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. I wasted so many years toying carelessly with sin when the reality is tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Jesus traded it all. He set aside the riches and glory He had in heaven and willingly came to do the Father’s will to save us. His love is so great that He did all that while we were yet His enemies. Romans 5:8 tells us, “Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God proves His love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I love Matthew 11:28. Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” If you want to invite Jesus in your heart to change your life forever, Romans 10:10 tells how. “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth you confess and are saved.”

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