An Unexpected Message from God
“I know how lonely your life has been. How you grew up without the love of your parents. I have been trying to get your attention for some time to draw you unto Myself.” Those words struck me to the core. And I’ll never forget them! It was the spring of 2012. Here I was at work. My day was coming to a close and I was wrapping up the last task for the day when a man stopped by my job saying he had a message from God for me. “It’s time to close doors”, he said before walking off leaving me speechless wondering what that meant. What just happened here? Did God just send a message through someone? I knew of that man as his computer had been repaired at the shop I worked at. But he did not know the darkest moments of my history that haunted me.
A Cry for Help and a Miraculous Response
Going back a week or so, I had hit rock bottom and had cried out to God. Quite literally too, weeping and demanding to know why I did not have the peace and rest He promises to those who accept Him. I quoted His Word to Him, asking Him to show me, tell me what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. “I’m over it! Help me!”, I sobbed. Fast forward to just days later, I was in a state of shock at the message delivered. How it was delivered! You know, I believed God heard my prayers, but never for one moment did I dream of Him making Himself so real to me! As I pondered those words specially delivered, the man showed up at my job yet again. “I don’t want to be all in your business, but I’m obligated to deliver the full message”, he said. It was at the end of the work day and everyone, save my husband and I, had left. So it was just the three of us standing there. The man, Chris C., said that we needed to start in prayer for the full message to come through.
A Powerful Moment in Prayer
So here I am standing there in our circle for prayer, still in awe over the events that were unraveling before my eyes. He opened in prayer, and as he went back and forth between speaking in tongues and English, something came over me. I was undone. Tears flooded as the message came through. After every instance of Chris praying in the spirit, the message flowed through – my life was being recounted back to me, as God spoke to me. As He spoke of my history, He mentioned a horrific car accident that nearly ended my life, leaving me hospitalized for weeks on end. He mentioned my unfortunate traumatic upbringing. He even kindly mentioned that while there was much that happened to me that was out of my control, there were also some things in my own life that I had brought onto myself.
Receiving a Divine Message and an Answered Prayer
Promises were made and prophecy was given. Then He said that I needed to, “Go home and forgive those who hurt you tonight”. This was not a suggestion. Though kindly spoken, it was a command. As I stood there weeping, I blurted out, “But I don’t know how!” It was true. I tried to do so repeatedly throughout my life and even thought that I had, saying out loud to myself and others that I had forgiven. Being robbed of a childhood. Being robbed of an education. Being robbed of having friends. All the abuse. All the hurt. Being abandoned. Being trafficked. But God saw much deeper into my heart than I could ever see. And in response to my blurting out, He said that my heart was right and that He was removing the Spirit of Unforgiveness that causes a state of restlessness, and the mind to be in constant replay of reliving the past. And that night was the first night since early childhood that I slept like a baby. No more insomnia!
The Burden of Unforgiveness and Its Spiritual Consequences
I can tell you firsthand, that that’s a very heavy spirit and will wear you out! Demonic oppression is very real and is always looking for an in to make our walk difficult. I had no idea that in holding onto resentment, bitterness, and anger I was leaving the door wide open, giving legal rights and free access to set up a stronghold. It’s so important to deal with unforgiveness quickly and squash the temptation to hold onto it. The devil is a liar and a thief and will tell you that you have every right to feel the way you do. And before you know it, you’re not only deceived into feeling justified, but you are living a life robbed of joy and peace as we put ourselves in a prison of torment through the door of unforgiveness. Makes me think of the Parable of the Unforgiving Debtor in Mathew 18:21-35. The evil one loves nothing better than luring us into the trap of wrong thinking to where we imprison ourselves! And trust me, he won’t stop there. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” -John 10:10 Well, forgiveness is a gift we give to others at our discretion, right? Not quite! Freely you receive, freely you give as it opens the door to God’s mercy in our own lives. “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” -Matthew 6:14.
Aligning with God’s Grace and Finding Peace
But why would we want to show an act of kindness or love to someone who hurt us? Because Jesus said how we treat others is going to be taken personally, saying it’s how we treat Him. So an act of unforgiveness is a direct act against Jesus Himself! I know it’s hard to wrap our minds around. Believe me, His command to forgive challenges every fiber of my being to go beyond what feels natural! But remember His words, “For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.” -John 3:17. He came 2000 years ago not to condemn us, but instead through Him a season of grace was ushered in. Let your Father handle it for you. Let God be God. I assure you that not only is He a wonderful loving God, but He is also an all-powerful, all-knowing Righteous Judge. That thought alone is sobering to me considering the reckless life I once lived. I am so thankful for His grace! Until the season of grace ends, it’s best to rightly align our hearts with His, remaining in His wonderful love and right standing with Him. I promise you, He’s worth it!
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