I was once told by a stranger that she had seen the spirit of witchcraft when viewing my online pictures. Needless to say, I was taken aback and wondered what she meant, as I had never delved into such things, nor had I been to a psychic, medium, or palm reader. However, I had read a few horoscopes back in the day and figured that that was related.
It was not until recent years that I was shocked to discover the reference in scripture, and God’s take on it spun in a way I was unfamiliar with. “Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols…” (1 Sam 15:23). Rebellion is an act of defiance against God’s established order and authority. And stubbornness is an iniquity – a deliberate sin, which puts self-will over God’s will, making it our god.
In my opinion, unbelief is similar, being described as “A settled, willful decision to reject God’s truth. It is characterized by a ‘hardened, closed-off heart’ that disregards evidence and miracles.” It differs from doubting, which is described as “A state of ‘two minds,’ questioning, and wavering. It is a natural part of the human experience that can lead to growth. A doubter desires to believe and seeks answers.”
A Distorted View of Authority
Considering my life of rebelling against authority figures and stubbornness, this, of course, got my attention. Those like myself, with either no father figure or a less-than-stellar example of a parent, most often struggle in this manner, which ends up spilling over into other areas of our lives. Trouble in having a functional relationship. Trouble with trusting. And in not knowing what it means to have a loving parental relationship, naturally, we have trouble seeing God as kind and loving. We envision God as being the type of authority figure likened to those we grew up with. One who is distant, impersonal, harsh, forceful, threatening, and ready to punish in a fit of rage.
For me personally, I had a distorted view of who God is. Being fearful, obstinate, and on the defensive of hearing the words, “trust and obey”, “surrender unto Me”. I struggled to give up control and was afraid of what would be expected of me or what would happen if I messed up. Partly due to deep-seated childhood trauma, with the type of father I had, and partly due to bits of scripture where God dealt with certain individuals who sinned and were rebellious under the Old Covenant.
Previously, I would see in the Old Testament things like “choose life over death” and would get offended as I would proceed to see a list of blessings vs curses. And wondered why such language was necessary. But hello! Because of the actions of Adam and Eve, all flesh came under the power of sin and death. Without Jesus, we are lost! Our God is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. The Author of all that is good. A good Father who is looking out for us. He was simply providing a way out of our mess, to Himself, the Eternal Life.
Discovering God’s True Character
While I did start out searching scripture to better understand God, admittedly, a part of my intentions in doing so was to scrutinize all of God’s actions and judgments. And after reading most of the Old Testament, I better understood where God was coming from and how He is just and fair. He is incredibly loyal. And how like us (as we are made in His image), has emotions in being upset and hurt through betrayal, and in being rejected and rebelled against repeatedly after His people would cry out for His help …only to repeat past behavior, and for hundreds of years.
Yes, He is a God of law and order, and we see the same in our society, as evidenced by the need for it. But His love and devotion are incredible. I began to see how patient He is and started to see His heart. Previously, I did not fully understand that we are under the New Covenant of salvation by grace through faith. I mean, I just did not get it all. How Jesus said that He did not come to condemn, but to save the lost. And how God desires mercy over judgment. So when God sent His Son, we were shown the perfect representation of the true character of God.
For example, I started to see the heart of God after the children of Israel continued in their acts of stubborn rebellion during their travels in the wilderness after being dramatically rescued from slavery in Egypt. They tried Him time after time in their unbelief and mistrust in Him, despite all the amazing miracles, the awesome displays of God’s glory and power, and hearing Him speak. Despite all His provision of food and water, preserved clothing and sandals, and not so much as their feet swelling over the course of 40 years. (Deut 8:4, 29:5, Neh 9:21)
Despite all His acts of patience and mercy, they refused to believe God and would not enter the Promised Land, though He proved Himself over and over with tangible manifestations of provision, care, and battles won up to that point. They had stubborn unbelief and did not trust God or His promises, where they were constantly complaining and murmuring against Him, saying they would choose a leader to take them back to Egypt, to return to slavery, where what was familiar was comfortable.
God was hoping to gain their trust and teach them that they could count on Him. Rely on Him. That He was enough. And that He keeps His word. It’s easy for us to judge the Israelites in all this, but we go through seasons of “wilderness” in our walk before we reach the “promised land,” where we need to learn to press into God and build up our faith to trust and lean on Him. It’s not always easy, but we need to remember all His promises to us, His word, along with our encounters with Him, hiding all in our hearts, and remember He is a faithful God!
Jesus Is the Person of Love
For me, in how I lived decades of my life in stubborn rebellion and in fear of God’s authority to the point of resisting the idea of surrender, I did not realize that Jesus is the Person of Love. Is He to be respected and reverenced? Of course. He’s our Creator. He’s God Almighty. But He loves us with a love beyond comprehension and created us to be His family and friends, desiring to have a personal relationship with each of us. Scripture says that, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” We were created with intention and for Him! He wants a friend like you!
And He showed His righteousness and proved His love with action. He freely laid down His life for all humanity with enough grace to cover every person that ever existed or ever will. He risked love even though He knew many would reject Him. He willingly went to that cross to show the depths of the Father’s love and how far He would go for you and me. He desires an intimate, close relationship, fellowship, and communion with us. It took me forever to see this.
A New Beginning in Christ
So, getting back to the verse of rebellion and stubbornness being likened to witchcraft and idolatry, and how someone basically told me that they saw a spirit of witchcraft in me. I had reached a point some 20 years ago where I told God I would do things His way, as I was dealing with spiritual torment and a sickness that science said I would be stuck with. God graciously healed me. But I did not have a true heart surrender, and resisted Jesus as my Lord. I wanted control. Sadly, I eventually reverted to old patterns, and that led to an emotional affair.
I’ve done some of the worst things and have lived a shameful life. But God, true to His character, never gave up on me. Faithful, kind, forgiving, and patient! And through Jesus, God offered me a new beginning in Christ Jesus; a clean slate and my story rewritten. I am so thankful for the times He showed up in my life, trying to get my attention, and for all the times He sent individuals to my job with words and prayers for me, trying to break through my tough exterior. He is a good God! Truly, where would I be without Jesus?
Prayer for God’s Forgiveness
My Heavenly Father, I come to you in Jesus’ name in repentance for rebellion and stubbornness. Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. Let me again experience the joy of your deliverance! Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey. I ask Lord God that you forgive me for my sins, known and unknown, and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Rightly align my heart with yours and help me to continue to grow in you. May your will be done in my life. In Jesus name. Amen.
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Psalm 103:1-5 “Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.”
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