I was once told by a stranger that she had seen the spirit of witchcraft when viewing my online pictures. Needless to say, I was taken aback and wondered what she meant, as I had never delved into such things, nor had I been to a psychic, medium, or palm reader. However, I had read a few horoscopes back in the day and figured that that was related.
It was not until recent years that I was shocked to discover the reference in scripture and God’s take on it spun in a way I was unfamiliar with. “Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft, and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the LORD, he has rejected you as king.” 1 Sam 15:23 Rebellion is an act of defiance against God’s established order and authority. And stubbornness is an iniquity – a deliberate sin, which puts self-will over God’s will, making it our god.
Considering my life of rebelling against authority figures and stubbornness, this, of course, got my attention. Those like myself, with either no father figure or a horrible example of one, most often struggle in this manner, which ends up spilling over into other areas of our lives. Trouble in having a functional relationship. Trouble with trusting. And in not knowing what it means to have a loving parental relationship, naturally, we have trouble seeing God as kind and loving. We envision Him as being the type of authority figure who is harsh and forceful, threatening, and always ready to punish.
For me personally, I had such a distorted view of who God is and feared what kind of Father figure He would be if I let Him in. Being fearful, obstinate, and on the defense of hearing the words, “trust and obey”, “surrender unto Me”. I was terrified of giving up control and afraid of what would be expected of me or what would happen if I messed up. Partly due to the type of father I had and partly due to bits of scripture where God dealt with certain individuals who sinned and were rebellious.
It was not until I decided to start from square one in going back to the beginning, starting at Genesis, and reading through the Bible without skipping through to isolated stories that the larger picture of God’s character and love was revealed. Yes, He is a God of law and order, but His love and devotion are incredible. I began to see how patient He is and started to see His heart.
For example, I started to see the heart of God after the children of Israel continued in their acts of stubborn rebellion during their travels in the wilderness after being dramatically rescued from slavery in Egypt. They tried His patience time after time in their unbelief and mistrust in Him, despite all the amazing miracles. Despite seeing awesome displays of His Glory and Power. Despite hearing Him speak. Despite His taking care of and providing for them. They doubted God to the point of refusing to enter the promised land, doubting Him and His mighty power to help and be with them as He promised.
This kept happening, instance after instance, throughout hundreds of years – rebellion against God and their living worse than the surrounding pagan nations. And His continually calling them back unto Himself unto repentance. Promising to love, protect, and provide for them. To be devoted to them. The Creator of the Universe wanted their love and devotion back. Almighty God, who is sovereign and self-sufficient and in need of nothing, wanted to be in relationship. How amazing is this? No matter what they did, God was always calling them back unto repentance. Calling them back unto Himself.
While I did start out searching scripture to better know God, admittedly a part of my intentions in doing so was to scrutinize all of God’s actions and judgments. After reading most of the Old Testament, I better understood where God was coming from and how He is just and fair.
For me, in how I lived decades of my life in rebellion and in fear of God’s authority to the point of resisting the idea of surrender, I did not realize that Jesus is the Person of Love. Is He to be respected and reverenced? Of course. He’s the Creator. He’s God Almighty. But He loves us with a love beyond comprehension and created us to be His family, desiring to have a personal relationship with each of us. Scripture says that, “For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” We were created with intention and for Him!
And He showed His righteousness and proved His love with action. He willingly laid down His life for all humanity. He went to that cross to show the depths of His love and how far He would go for you and me. He desires fellowship and communion with us. It took me forever to see this.
I’ve done some of the worst things and have lived a shameful life. But God, in His goodness, never gave up on me. He has been so faithful. And through His Son, He offered me the chance to start over. A new beginning in Christ Jesus. New hope. A clean slate. And my story rewritten. I am so thankful for the times He showed up in my life trying to get my attention and for all the times He sent individuals to my job with words and prayers for me, trying to break through my tough exterior. He is a good God! Truly, where would I be without Jesus?
“Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer who formed you from the womb: ‘I am the LORD, who has made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who by Myself spread out the earth.” Isaiah 44:24
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.” Isaiah 1:18
“I will purify them from all the iniquity they have committed against me, and I will forgive all the iniquities they have committed against me, rebelling against me.” Jeremiah 33:8
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
“Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.” Psalm 51:2
“Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance—who does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in loving devotion? He will again have compassion on us; He will vanquish our iniquities. You will cast out all our sins into the depths of the sea.” Micah 7:18-19
“Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name. 2 Bless Yahweh, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits; 3 Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases; 4 Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion; 5 Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.” Psalm 103:1-5
Leave a Reply